Things that Rusby does that I like

• Gives me heart wrenching puppy dog eyes
• Sits
• Stays
• Shakes
• Plays fetch with his favorite tennis ball
• Walks well on a leash
• Listens to me
• Snuggles up with me when I need a good hug
• Falls on his back when I shoot him with my imaginary gun
• Cleans up kitchen spills efficiently with his mouth
• Listens to me as I tell him about my day
• Warms up the couch for me
• Welcomes me home in the best way ever

Things that Rusby doesn’t do

• Poop on command, especially when it is freezing outside
• Roll over
• Take my side when I am arguing with Pedram
• Make me pancakes in the morning
• Give backrubs
• Sleep in on weekends
• Contribute to the household income

Things that Rusby does that I don’t like

• Give me kisses.  I don’t do doggy kisses
• Ignores me when other dogs are near
• Stick his nose in other dogs butts
• Eats too much snow and then vomits
• Licks the place where his manhood used to be before we snipped them off
• Occasionally farts under the blanket on the couch.  Doggy dutch oven!